So afraid....

So I'm closing in on my new UGW....
And I'm afraid I won't be able to stop :(

I'm so afraid to gain the weight that I've lost that I keep loosing weight
The few weekends that I've tried to just relax and enjoy food I've gained 4-5 pounds....

Then I have to work to get rid of them again to stay where I want to be
The result is that I'm loosing more....

Eatout weekend

OMG Total eatout weekend!
How did I let this happend?
I dread the scale tomorrow. I think I ate enough for the whole week to come.

Tomorrow will be so hard getting back on track.
I'm always hungry after eating so much.

Stress!

Jeeez!

Barely entered the office and already it's a stressful day!
Will be hard to keep focus today with tons of meetings and lunch with a client.

On the upside... the number on the scale today was lower than yesterday :)

Mondays sometimes suck

Monday morning, and I was hoping for a positive number on the scale this morning.
Thought I did so good this weekend.
But the damn scale didn't move an inch down. YUCK!

But good news is I got my new supply of Frenzy Fat Loss, so now I hope my energy level will pick up again.

Today's intake so far:
Breakfast Skinny Latte (56) and home made experimental whole grain cup cake (47):
103 calories
Lunch: 2 Frenzy Fat pills, 2 Raspberry Ketone pills, 2 multivitamins:
0 calories

Then they served cake at work... and I weakened and gave in to a piece. A small one though, but still... I was doing so good.
168 calories Jeez
I'm so hopeless!


Thankfully stickingout challenged the forum for pictures of thigh gaps.
I took a pic of my legs just to see what it looked like, and....

WOW!!

That just lifted my spirit!!!

And then I read a-change's post about What I love about Ana/Mia
And I could so relate to what she listed - I got another pick-me-up

So now, It's home to kids and hubby for a very low calorie dinner
 Here's hoping tomorrow the scale will be on my side again 

Experimenting in the kitchen

Experimenting in the kitchen!

Some days are just good!
Those when you wake up in the morning, step on the scale and it's down half a pound from yesterday.
I like those days!
Makes me feel happy, energetic and ready to face the world!

Went shopping with my daughter yesterday and blew off an enormous amount of money - jeez, that will hurt when I have to pay the bills.
But we had such fun, and I fit into the most amazing skinny little dresses - I just couldn't resist to buy them!
New skinny jeans, small tank tops OMG I love being skinny!!!

And now I feel so motivated to reach my new UGW of 108lbs/49 kg

So as the family left the house today for a bunch of activities... I stayed in the kitchen experimenting!
Baked wholegrain and fiber cupcakes with non fat yogurt and low calorie chocolate chip cookies.
So now I how something healthy to binge on if the urge comes....

and we all know it does...

From disappointment yesterday to upturn today :)

So yesterday was such a down day I could cry I ended up on a super binge and felt literally sick the rest of the day.



Did a thorough cleanse yeasterday evening and now I feel so much better.
So today I'm pulling my act together.....

I'll have my morning coffee and then lots and lots of water until dinner and then try to eat as little as possible.

I will reach my GW!!
108 lbs here I come

Only 5lbs more to go - so damn hard

So I'm like almost there... And maybe that's what makes it so easy to give in.

Had an awful day yesterday with lots of stress at work, and a god damn Easter egg filled with chocolate on my desk.... and of course I couldn't resist... I dipped in there... again, and again, and again.....

Result: 1575 calories yesterday...

And this morning... I'm fucking at it again
those 5lbs will soon be 7 lbs if I don't pull my self together. And I mean seriously pull my self together.

Worse part is.... I actually did so good all Easter. Had a few days of to much, but more days of under 1000 calories and lots of skiing, walking, moving my ass around.

Now I'm only sitting on this fat thing. *yuck* stuffing my face with chocolate
need to get my focus straight, see my goal... which actually is so close and in reach if I just focus.
With lunch and chocolate and a diet bar, I'm already up to 890 calories today....
HELP ME!!!

Oh well - back to work

Had a fantastic Easter week at my cabin in the mountains. Ten days of blue sky, sun and white snow under my skies. It's all over to soon.

So now it's back to work. All the stress and stuff at the office. Kids activities. Housework. Bills.
I just wanna go back to having time off from everything and just enjoy my self.

I think I need to win the lottery *haha*