Looking back...

I created this blog almost 6 years ago - not that I've been an eager blogger, and I haven't written that many posts.

But I really love that I can spill my guts here. All my frustration but also all my joy over my restrictions and "binges" and obsession with food.

Losing weight by restricting calories down to 200-600 a day is so frowned upon.
And I have days I'm so happy I haven’t eaten but you can't go around your colleagues and 'brag' about it - because they'll think you're insane. Which is partly true…
It’s like… if you’re not truly fat… you’re not allowed to diet.

And I know I’m not fat! like 200lbs and most people probably think I’m super skinny and not allowed to complain – but I’m a really thin person. And it shows when I’m not wearing clothes, that my thighs are to big, and that I’ve got too much weight around my waist.
And I see that every day in the mirror – and this blog is the only place where I can spill my frustration over this.

Motivation as hell!!!

OK, so I know it's just day three - but freaking HEY! I'm down almost 2kg already.
Yes, yes, it's only water - I know 😛 but actually I don't care.

I don't have to carry it around no more!!!

And yes, the though part hasn't started yet.
It's gonna be harder to loose weight in a few weeks - but right now I'm just smiling and enjoying the fact that I'm already  down almost 2kg.👍

Day two

So I kickstarted my weightloss yesterday with only 533 calories in total.

Must admit I also used a couple of laxatives to jumpstart it some more - and the joy of stepping on the scale this morning and seeing my weight dropping from 59,9 to 59,2 👏👏👏

Talk about motivation to keep things going 😁

So far today I've managed to keep going with only a skinny latte for breakfast (can't live without that) and a cup of soup for lunch.
And that on a day where guys at worked made waffles and the yummy smell spread around the office - tempting me to cave.

But I didn't 🙌

Still have a couple of hours left at work and hope the Zero Calories RedBull will keep me going until I get home.

So happy!!! 😁😁😁😁
I'm all smiles today

Here we go...

I'm back and I'm fat - but I'm ready to kick some as and get back to my UGW!!!

I'm not sure what happend - but somewhere along the road I lost my self.
And all the hard work I put into loosing weight is gone.

I took a long look in the mirror this morning and decided - enough is enough. This can't go on anymore.

Skinny me was so happy four years ago.

No wonder - look at those amazing legs and that thigh gap.

Now I'm back to this :( 

But this ends now!!!

I'm going back to skinny!!!

Returning from the shadows

Wow!

Last post in November!
And now it's the end of April!

Well I'm alive.
If anyone was wondering.

I'm still thin *LOL*
Not ana skinny skinny

But still  pretty size zero close - at least size two *LOL*

I've started working out a lot, so now I'm really fit *grin*
But as a result of that my thighs have gotten bigger *don't like that*

I now work out almost seven days a week
I therefor eat a lot more than I used to

But during Easter I prolly overdid it a little

To much chocolate.
To much Prosecco
To much beer
To much barbeque
Had a fantastic Easter Holiday though *LOL*

So now I have to find Ana again and focus on the bikini season ahead.
Started restricting yesterday

Had a totalt of 551 calories
Worked of 325 of them
Leaving me with a total net calorie intake of 226

I'm happy with that!

So far I've had 93 calories today for breakfast
But i'll be out golfing and exercising tonight for about four hours - so I'm not worried yet

Smile!

So if you've followed me on this blog you already know I'm an up and down person.
Thursday was a real down day, eventhough it was Halloween, which is a fun day...

Monday was an up day. Although it was a rainy grey monday.

Updays when my weight goes down and down days when my weight goes up.

And even my kids notice it. Although I try not to be too moodsick when I'm around them.

But I'm glad they know me and also as my oldest says when I'm in a bad mood... Are you sure you should eat that choolate mum, you're already grumpy *Ha Ha*

Monday's weigh in:
51,7 kg/113.9 lbs

Blæh!

I just downed 500 cals in about ten minutes - Yuck

And I've grown - sideways! Yuck

Meassured myself today. Thighs, hips, waist, chest, arms
All have increased

So has my weight :(
Back at 52,3kg /115,3 lbs

And I'm in a terrible mood right now - which can only be cured by a two step plan

1. Eat chocolate the whole day and feel unbelievably sorry about my self.
2. Use laxatives tonight and get rid of everything tomorrow and not eat for several days

And if my know my self right.... When I've lost three/four pounds and feel better...

I'll do it all over again
I'm so patetic

My other weaknesses

These are the things that make me fat

Some are easy to stay away from - like TGI Friday's and Starbuck - cause I actually have to drive to another city to get there....

Some are far harder to avoid....
Chocolate most of all

I love chocolate - in almost every shape, size and taste - except the really dark one.

And most of all..... This:

Slouching on the coach in front of the TV sipping cosmo and Asti

Work out! Me? WTF?

I - me - actually, and I'm not lying here now, although you probably think so - went for a run yesterday!!??

Well of course it wasn't by free will! Duh!

But as my daughter thought running in the dark, alone, was not a good idea...
I was the not so bad alternative

So I went with her. And actually ran. For 45 minutes!
So there you go! Even I can if I have to

My weakness

Some of you will probably not know what this is....

But freshly made NORWEGIAN waffles (they are not at all like Belgian waffles - those are to sweet)
With brown cheese (yes! goat cheese) and sour creme (can do without the jam though)

That wonderful smell when these are made - OMG