Blæh!

I just downed 500 cals in about ten minutes - Yuck

And I've grown - sideways! Yuck

Meassured myself today. Thighs, hips, waist, chest, arms
All have increased

So has my weight :(
Back at 52,3kg /115,3 lbs

And I'm in a terrible mood right now - which can only be cured by a two step plan

1. Eat chocolate the whole day and feel unbelievably sorry about my self.
2. Use laxatives tonight and get rid of everything tomorrow and not eat for several days

And if my know my self right.... When I've lost three/four pounds and feel better...

I'll do it all over again
I'm so patetic

My other weaknesses

These are the things that make me fat

Some are easy to stay away from - like TGI Friday's and Starbuck - cause I actually have to drive to another city to get there....

Some are far harder to avoid....
Chocolate most of all

I love chocolate - in almost every shape, size and taste - except the really dark one.

And most of all..... This:

Slouching on the coach in front of the TV sipping cosmo and Asti

Work out! Me? WTF?

I - me - actually, and I'm not lying here now, although you probably think so - went for a run yesterday!!??

Well of course it wasn't by free will! Duh!

But as my daughter thought running in the dark, alone, was not a good idea...
I was the not so bad alternative

So I went with her. And actually ran. For 45 minutes!
So there you go! Even I can if I have to

My weakness

Some of you will probably not know what this is....

But freshly made NORWEGIAN waffles (they are not at all like Belgian waffles - those are to sweet)
With brown cheese (yes! goat cheese) and sour creme (can do without the jam though)

That wonderful smell when these are made - OMG

Say Whaaat?

Shit!
I haven't been here since august 28th? That's like two months ago!!

Wow! I know it's been hectic and all at work but I really didn't think I was that off.

To anyone that for some far fetched reason follows my blog - I appologize!
Although I'm not sure anyone does *haha*

Well - to let you know where I stand right now...
I just started a massive restriction week after weighing in at 117.9lbs on Sunday morning *gross*

I'm very happy to see it work and the face the number 111.9lbs on the scale today.

Which means I've gone from this:

To this:

I'm so proud of my self!!!

 

And the best feeling right now....

The feeling of my pants hanging loosely from my hips

Hectic days

Sometimes I wake up in the morning, think of what I'll do today at work, and that since it's Monday and I ate a lot this weekend I'll restrict more this week and finally loose those last pounds.
Then suddenly I realise it's already Wednesday, and I didn't restrict that much on Monday and Tuesday as I wanted to, because the days just flew by, and everything was so hectic and the scale hasn't moved at all and tomorrow I'll be in meetings all day and have lunch with a former colleague and there's no way I can get away with not eating there. And I already feel exhausted and can't wait for the weekend to come so I can sleep in the morning, and then I realise that means lots of food with my kids and family and I'll probably gain more weight and it all depresses me so much. I might as well give up and eat that bloody chocolate cause I'll never reach my UGW anyway!

PUH!
Life's so stressing sometimes, it's like a merry-go-round that I can't get off.

How the f#@k

Two and a half days of,  not binging,  but just eating a bit more than usual
And I mean just a bit more:

Friday 912 calories
Saturday 1464
Sunday 1738

And Sunday I even worked off almost a 1000 calories

And today it's like up 3,7 lbs since Friday morning
How is that even possible???

I'm not even sure the food I ate weighed that much!

God this is so depressing.
I mean I knew I wasn't going to lose weight over the weekend
And okay,  I could deal with 2 pounds up, but 3,7???
That's just mean :(

Addicted to myProAna

Jeez! I had no idea it was possible to get so addicted to a forum that when it one day isn't online it's like I have a huge craving that doesn't go away.

I so miss the forum and can't wait for them to be back online.

In the meantime I have been good although I ate more yesterday than I have in the last four days together.

But ended just above 700 cals
Not bad for a Friday

Today will be a bigger challenge not to go all crazy with food.  I've promised my daughter a trip to the mall and coffee at starbucks
Then dinner comes around for its share of calories and then there's movie time which certainly includes popcorn

And then a glass of something good to end the day with my hubby :)

Oh yes. Im sure the scale won't be nice to me tomorrow.

Well time to face it today
So hoping it at least hasn't gone up already.  Just stay put on 49.7 from yesterday will be a good start of the day :)

Well of course it wasn't down! 

But did it really have to be up 0.3 kg since yesterday? Depressing :(

Friday and ready for the weekend

Below 50kg today - WOW what an amazing feeling

Unfortunately/fortunately either way you see it... it's friday
Which means that I'll probably gonna up my calories, a little today, and some more tomorrow and Sunday and Monday I'll be complaining about gaining weight again.

So you are here by warned!!

But there's no way I'll be able to go through a weekend together with my family not eating.
And I (which is my weakness) just love food to much to be able to not eat when we have taco and share popcorn with the kids, so I'll just have to face it that even though I'm so close to my UGW today, I will have to work to get there next week too....

So happy weekend to you all - with or without food LOL

Best day in a long time

What a wonderful feeling to wake up, step on the scale and

WoHOO! 50kg!!


So motivated these days - feel I'll actually gonna reach it this time.

Stayed under 350 calories yesterday. So proud of my self :)



Then starts the real job - keeping the weight stable!